Gratitude Habits didn’t come naturally to me at first. If there were a championship for complaining, I would’ve been a top contender for years.

Happiness used to feel out of reach because I focused more on what was wrong than what was right.

For years, I believed that I was entitled to everything, even other people’s goodwill. Since it was always simple to find someone or something to complain about, I was not particularly delighted about this. Life seemed less appealing and I got along worse with people the more critical I became.

Prices were too high, quality was too low, TV was too dull, politicians were too self-serving, traffic was too slow, drivers were too careless, winters were too cold, summers were too hot, health was too poor, work was too stressful, and the weather seemed terrible.

I could have complained that the sky was too blue and the water was too wet if I had kept living that way.

Thankfully, I discovered a wealth of study on gratitude. How it increased happiness and life satisfaction while lowering anxiety, despair, emotional weariness, and even suicidal ideation. How it improved sleep, reduced blood pressure, increased immunity, and promoted good habits.

Gratitude has also been linked to better relationship and marriage, according to research! The offer now looked too good to refuse.

I began gathering useful advice on how to live a more thankful life and began putting it into practice. Be advised that these methods of cultivating thankfulness may cause you to become much less happy!

1. Tell your partner exactly how a recent episode made you love them even more.

Be extremely precise and specific. For instance, “You know it takes me a long time to choose a hotel, so I appreciate that you considered what I would really prefer for our anniversary and that you made all the reservations.”

It need not be related to a yearly occasion, like an anniversary. When they notice that you have had a difficult day, they might do something as simple as give you a hug to lift your spirits. However, explain to them just what you liked about that and why.

This thorough thank-you note shows your partner that you are attentive to their needs. Additionally, it tends to increase their responsiveness. Mutual receptivity is essential to romance.

2. If your relationship is going through a rough patch, imagine the disappearance of your partner.

This may seem counterintuitive, yet it increases your appreciation for everything positive in the relationship. People who lost their relationship unexpectedly frequently talk about how their small arguments now seem so trivial. They frequently claim that they would sacrifice anything to bring their loved one back.

I become much more appreciative of my lover the moment I consider trying this. It helps me to appreciate my good fortune.

3. Look beyond a gift.

Consider thoughtfully the effort someone made to improve your life, frequently at their own expense and inconvenience.

We like to watch Grand Slam tennis competitions on television. Although tickets for the main courts sell out quickly, we hoped that we could eventually be able to attend a tournament in person. Then our kid gave us tickets to a Grand Slam event, which was a surprise.

It came as a complete surprise. He went to all the trouble and money because we were so moved. The awareness of his affection was perhaps more amazing than the tennis and the surroundings.

4. Relish each good moment more consciously.

Have you ever deliberately observed the many patterns created by bubbles in a warm bath? Or the strange forms of blue skies with white clouds? Or the odd way that when you hit an eggshell, it begins to crack? Or how your pillow makes you feel when you go to sleep after a long, difficult day?

Moment by moment, amazing tiny pleasures are in store for us. However, we must intentionally observe them. Gratitude then begins to permeate every moment of existence.

Every morning, I put water in a pan to boil some eggs. I adore seeing the water’s bubbles dance for me. It sets the tone for the rest of my day.

5. Shout for joy when something really good happens to you.

I was once an authority on misery.

Have I been accepted to medical school? I do not deal in happiness, so keep silent.

Did my parents want to celebrate my graduation? It is just another day, so do not bother coming, Mom and Dad.

What was I thinking? I would shake myself hard if I could go back in time.

“Cry with delight!” My younger self would be urged. “Get up and dance like a crazy kid by jumping around and playing your favorite song!”

Your imagination makes everything you celebrate more real. And your appreciation for it grows.

6. Fast forward.

The photographer forced us to pose often after we were married. When it was finished, we were relieved. We leaned in for a kiss, relieved.

The seasoned photographer snapped it right away.

I recall thinking, “We will be so delighted when we are elderly looking at that picture.”

I felt even luckier at the time because of that glimpse into the future.

Make the most of every chance to make memories that will bring you joy for years to come. Being able to anticipate pleasant memories will make you feel thankful both now and in the future.

7. Tell someone else when you’re particularly taken by something.

In the summer, we get to witness some breathtaking sunsets. To see rooftops, I only need to go to our picture window. It appears as though the sky has been splattered with color by a master artist. “Wow!” I will make an impromptu call. “Look at this, come on! Is not it beautiful? You become even more appreciative when you express gratitude to others.

8. Introduce a guest to your favorite places, people, music, food etc.

You love certain things so much for a reason. Those pleasures may not yet be appreciated by another person. You become more appreciative and open your own eyes when you open theirs.

Part of the reason I enjoy having guests stay with us is that I get to show them some of my favorite places. There is a location where verdant slopes with sheep climb sharply upward, and a man-made canal spans high over a river with an old mill. I could stay there for hours simply taking it all in.

Occasionally, my guests will even pick up on details that I overlooked. Their joy increases mine own.

9. Build a bank of gratitude.

You will not always have it your way in life. It can be challenging to remember a moment of gratitude when faced with hardship.

By keeping notes, photos, and other records of your blessings, you can create a bank of thankfulness.

I have a ton of photos of nature, family, travel, and sunsets, along with comments about some good things that have happened huge me, minor gains in my fitness and health, and accomplishments. I also keep some notes on challenging times that helped me grow stronger and wiser, as well as about harmful people whose actions unintentionally benefited me.

You can pick a lovely notebook and write in it every day if you enjoy writing on paper. You should have no trouble identifying a few things for which you are thankful. If you are stuck, you can thank God that you were spared some difficulties that you would have otherwise had to deal with, like living in a war zone or suffering from a crippling sickness.

You might gather these papers in a large thankfulness jar if you would rather write on paper. You will enjoy it more than a young child enjoys a jar of candy.

You can access your bank of thankfulness to restore perspective if life ever becomes too much to handle and your thoughts are consumed by grievances. Joy and thankfulness do not have to be far away.

10. Invite someone to be your gratitude buddy.

You do not need to search far if your companion is inherently appreciative. You can support and mentor each other to live more appreciative lives.

Even so, you might want to ask a confidante you can trust to participate in the deliberate practice of appreciation with you. You can commit to using one or more of these suggestions at least once per day and support one another when you falter. This kind of sharing your practice encourages thankfulness to become a habit and a new way of life.

Although I am lucky to have a partner who is naturally appreciative, I do like to share my thankfulness techniques with other people. After that, I have to follow through on my promises.

11. Be aware of how gratitude feels in your body.

You begin to experience a sort of physical thrill when you consistently cultivate thankfulness. After shivering outside during the bitterly cold winter of complaints, it feels like a homecoming, as though you are settling into a warm bath.

During the expression of thankfulness, pay attention to the sensations in your hands, feet, neck, torso, face, and belly. Spend a few minutes reflecting on the feelings. Add it to your list of things for which you are thankful and bask in the glow of appreciation.

12. Widen your net of gratitude to include more people.

Did you have a preferred instructor? What about them appealed to you? How have they affected your life?

My first music teacher passed away before I could give him the credit he deserved, which is one of my greatest life regrets. He gave me excellent instruction in musical creation. I practically live out what he taught me every day, and creating music makes me happy.

Consider everyone who has influenced your life. Give them each a thank you. Thank them no matter what you do—write to them, call them, contact them, visit them, or do whatever else that works.

Try to be as specific and comprehensive as you can. Express your understanding of their effort and good intentions. Make sure they understand the significance of their contribution to your life.

They will glow as a result. You will glow as a result.

Show folks how much you appreciate them whenever you can. It fortifies the ties of friendship and camaraderie that sustain us as people. As we join others in pursuing worthwhile causes, it enables us to try good and significant things and to be a part of something greater than ourselves.

Of course, it is not always acceptable to express thankfulness. Sometimes, like in abusive relationships, there are very valid reasons to be unhappy and to file a complaint. Even there, a regularly thankful person may find it easier to solve problems since they have a warmer relationship with others who can assist them.

These straightforward methods appeal to me because they are comparatively simple to use and offer significant advantages. For me, they have made it possible to live a far happier life. My relationships with my loved ones and other people are lot warmer now.

Neuroscience has shown us that our habits can alter our brains as well. I was a champion complainer once. I am getting better at being thankful now.

Anyone can benefit from these habits if they work for me, who is naturally a complainer.

What thankfulness exercises have you found to be helpful? Let us expand the list of exercises and share the happiness. I appreciate the opportunity to write for you.