I realized how uncommon genuine silence has become while I was with my mother at the Scandinave, a Scandinavian-style bath facility, last week. When I say “real quiet,” I mean not just the absence of speech but also the ability to pause, contemplate, become motionless, or simply be without action.

Silence had become a forgotten art. Groups were always talking, and voices could be heard across the pool, even at these baths where the purpose was to de-stress and take in the peace and quiet of nature. Signs promoting silence were placed around the neighborhood, however it made no difference:

Respect Silence.

Talk quietly.

Complete Silence.

As a society, we have lost the ability to be silent and motionless. We are constantly moving, occupied, and active. We no longer know how to simply be.

Our lives are filled with this absence of quiet. It is in the interminable small talk about the weather that prevents people from just sitting in silence. To prevent just sitting in quiet, we use our phones to occupy our minds and fill our ears with music throughout the subway ride.

In my experience as a yoga practitioner and teacher, it manifests itself when instructors jam courses full of cues. I have observed it manifesting during the last resting pose, savasana, which is shortened to prevent the anxiety of observing students fidgeting in the awkward quiet.

This strikes me as tragic.

Our lives gain room when we are silent. It enables us to take a minute to think, to process, to see past the surface and into the depths of our existence. By denying ourselves silence, we deprive ourselves of life’s wholeness. We can only fully hear the inner whispers that are pushing us to reach our full potential when there is silence.

Deep connections are formed by silence, both with the outside world and with oneself. One can almost feel the energy of a crowded, quiet space. We all have strong connections to the cosmos, to our higher selves, and to one another when we are silent.

I experienced this for a little moment at the spa. stillness united a bunch of strangers as they sat in complete stillness in the sauna. Instead of using our phones, we were all in the same place at the same time, connected with the outside world. We were able to reflect on our inner landscape, let go of things that no longer served us, and rethink who and how we wanted to be in the world.

Without quiet, we continue to go forward without truly understanding where we are or where we wish to go.

After spending that day in solitude and isolation, I had a fresh perspective on my life. I could hear my inner voice becoming louder during those quiet times. It went from being a murmur that was easy to ignore to becoming thunderous.

I was forced to confront it after a day of stillness. That day, I had a difficult talk when I got home. Possibly one of the most difficult experiences I have ever had.

I came to the realization that I had not been treating myself with respect in my relationship because I was terrified of losing everything I held dear. I was not in agreement with my partner about what we wanted out of the relationship and what it meant to us. Because I was the one who gave in, followed instructions, and made compromises, I unwittingly lost parts of myself to the relationship. In this manner,

So that I could spend time with him, I stopped growing things I liked that were apart from him. I did not take the time to plan my own weekend activities.

I could hear my inner voice growing louder and clearer in the quiet. I could not continue to feel or act in this manner. I had the strength to listen and the room to hear what my heart was expressing because of the silence. There has to be a change.

I had to quit putting other people’s needs and wants ahead of my own. I had to start asserting my rights and letting people know that my desires were important. Instead of constantly waiting to see if he had other plans, I had to start planning things on my own and taking care of myself. First, I had to be myself, completely me.

Talking about what was on my mind and feeling like I might lose it all was frightening. I was afraid of what would occur if I stopped complying with it and began prioritizing myself. However, I was unable to dodge the discussion any longer. The quiet roared.

Maybe it is why we avoid silence—you can not ignore the voice in your heart once you hear it calling. Once you create the room to hear what is in your heart, you can not continue to deny it. And it can be frightening.

Usually, your inner voice encourages you to take the difficult route. The speaker is not interested in you settling. It wants you to persevere. It encourages you to reach your full potential. It desires that you ascend mountains. It encourages you to live and dream big. And it is not always simple to live that way. Comfort is not always the best option.

It can be frightening to lean into stillness. Your body and mind will fight it, so it may even hurt at first. However, I implore you to stop escaping the quiet. Accept it. It will change your life, so give it permission to make room in it. In the end, the stillness helped me get closer to the life I envision—a life filled with significance, passion, and giving it my all.

You can re-discover the lost skill of stillness in the following ways:

1. Start small.

Silence will have a more profound effect on your life the longer time you spend in it, but it might not be the best idea to jump right into a ten-day silent retreat. Actually, it might do the exact reverse.

Rather, gradually include little periods of quiet into your daily routine. Try shutting off the radio if you commute by car every day. Put your phone aside and remove your headphones if you use public transportation. Experience this quiet and pay attention to your surroundings and inner thoughts.

2. Set aside time for meditation.

Set aside a certain period of time each day or week to practice meditation. You might do it right before bed at night or first thing in the morning. Simply breathe while sitting or lying down with your eyes closed, and set a timer for five or ten minutes. Observe how your breath enters and exits your body.

3. Use mantras.

I moved into the solitude at the baths by reciting mantras. “Life flows through me with ease” was my daily mantra.

In the quiet, I could hear myself struggling against life’s ups and downs—clinging to hopes, fretting over potential outcomes, and opposing the direction things were taking.

Sometimes our minds use stillness as an opportunity to bombard us with thoughts about how inadequate we are, how we are missing out, how rushed we are, or how little time we have. We will not be accustomed to the quiet, therefore our minds will be very active. The silence will be fought by your thinking. You can calm your thoughts and find peace by repeating a mantra.

4. Use movement, such as yoga.

We can begin with mild, mindful movement to ease ourselves into quiet if our brains are too active and we find it difficult to sit still.

Our bodies can get extremely restless if we are not accustomed to sitting quietly. Being silent might cause anxiety. We can calm our minds and neurological systems by moving, which makes it simpler to transition into a state of being.

I relaxed my body for quiet by doing some neck and shoulder exercises when I initially arrived at the baths. In turn, this attention to the body helped me relax and enjoy the quiet.

Accept the lost art of quiet. Your best self will appreciate it.