Sitting in silence for one out of every four weeks became a way of life during the more than two years I spent at a Zen Monastery. Each month, we held a week-long silent retreat, immersing ourselves fully in stillness and introspection.

We only used hand gestures and written notes to communicate during this retreat, and we ate, worked, and meditated in solitude.

Living this way was difficult at first, but I eventually came to value silence. I discovered that stillness was both my teacher and friend by the time I departed.

What did I learn from silence?

1. Satisfaction

I once believed that I had to watch TV every night. However, I went without it at the monastery and found that I did not require it.

I learned to be content with less from silence. Decide what is pulling you down, then let it go. Your life will be grateful.

2. Expression

You only express what is necessary when you can only communicate by writing a note. I spoke a lot but spoke very little before the monastery.

I learned from silence that a few well-spoken, straightforward sentences have greater impact than endless talking. Choose one easy thing you can say to make someone feel better, then say it.

3. Appreciation

Speaking makes life easier, but when I was unable to communicate, I realized how much I depended on other people.

I learned the importance of relating to others through silence. Try to pay close attention the next time you see your loved ones. Deep admiration is expressed through deep listening.

4. Attention

I believed my phone was vibrating on multiple occasions during my first retreat. However, I would then recall that I was missing my phone. It demonstrated to me how my phone diverted my focus.

I learned the value of letting go of distractions via silence. Try shutting off your phone and putting it away the next time you are with a loved one. It will facilitate paying attention.

5. Thoughts

There was a time I sat in a retreat close to a building. I was astounded by how effortlessly my thoughts overpowered the sounds. I knew I had better think as wisely as possible if my thoughts were this loud.

I learned the value of forming my thoughts from silence. Spend some time every day observing your ideas and letting go of those that do not benefit you.

6. Nature

I know that the sound of the wind in the fall is different from that in the winter because I have sat retreat in every season.

I learned to observe nature through silence. You can learn about the wisdom and tranquility that nature has to offer by taking a quick, silent walk outside.

7. Body

I discovered during retreat that I lost control of my body anytime I became absorbed in my thoughts. And my mind would quiet down when I concentrated on my body.

I learned to be in my body through silence. “What feelings do I sense in my hand?” ask yourself while closing your eyes. Your anxious thoughts can be calmed by learning to sense your body.

8. Overstimulation

After retreat, the world always seemed so quick and noisy when I returned to town. I realized that most of the time, our senses have a lot to process.

I learned the value of lowering the stimulation from silence. Every day, take pleasure in some peaceful time. Your mind might become more calm the less you see and hear.

9. Sound

When people visited the monastery, they would comment on how peaceful it was. However, as a resident of the monastery, I was familiar with all the sounds, including owls, frogs, and the sound of sandals on the pavement.

I learned from silence that there are many different sounds in the world. Shut your eyes and sit in front of your house. If you pay enough attention, you will be astounded by what you hear.

10. Humanity

I was surrounded by folks who were imperfect but trying their hardest during retreat. All of them were incredibly human, whether they were joyful or depressed.

I learned from silence that people are incredibly beautiful. Look for a nice location where people can view with an open mind. You might be inspired by what you see.

11. Space

For a long time, I would just divert myself if a challenging situation arose. However, I learned from retreat that if I avoided something, it would always be there.

Space helps me deal with difficult situations, I learned from silence. The next time you are faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to respect whatever is coming up.

12. Love

Love used to seem like such a big thing to me. However, I discovered on retreat that I loved a lot of things.

I learned that love may be straightforward from silence. Choose someone you have not told recently that you love them, and tell them.

13. Courage

During retreat, I came to the realization that true courage is about facing oneself, rather than just embracing danger.

I learned the fortitude to remain motionless from silence. Everything we are fleeing comes up with us when we stop moving. The next time you experience fear, pause and give it time to pass. Your heart is filled with great courage.

14. Perseverance

Speaking is easy, but remaining silent is difficult, as each retreat taught me.

Although it is not ostentatious, silence has a great ability to persist. Instead of disagreeing, make a silent promise to persevere the next time someone questions you. Action speaks louder than words.

15. Faith

I frequently want comments or reassurance. But I had to follow my gut since I was living in quiet.

I learned to believe in myself from silence. See if you can locate the place of profound faith that resides in your heart the next time you start to feel nervous. Sit quietly.

16. Honesty

I used to tell lies to avoid having to defend myself. However, I became aware of this tendency and how much it compromised my integrity when I was unable to speak.

I learned the value of speaking the truth from silence. When you find yourself telling small lies, consider telling the truth instead. Although it is not always simple, it is the first step in having faith in both ourselves and other people.

17. Gratitude

I did not have many comforts during retreat. It made me realize how much I had to be thankful for and how much I took for granted.

At the conclusion of each day, take a moment to sit quietly and consider your blessings. The blessings you find will astound you.

18. Simplicity

I used to adore confrontation and drama. However, at retreat, I discovered that keeping things simple made me happier.

I learned from silence that joy and simplicity go hand in hand. Choose a room in your house that you could make simpler. For a month, keep things simple and relish the convenience it brings to your life.

19. Connection

I used to believe that in order to feel connected, I needed to chat. During retreat, I came to the realization that simply being with people I care about can make me feel connected.

I learned from silence that words may obstruct communication. Spend some time with a loved one in silence. You will gradually understand what it means to simply be in someone is presence, even though it will initially feel weird.

20. Truth

In college, I assumed I could read about truth because I studied philosophy. However, I learned from retreat that stillness is where truth may be reached.

I have learned a deeper truth from silence than I ever could from words. Once a week, take a seat quietly and allow yourself to feel the reality. Whether you can articulate it verbally or not, it exists.