Me Love My Life more when I embrace positive habits. While bad habits leave me wishing for change, good habits bring happiness, fulfilment, and a greater sense of contentment.
The quality of your life is directly correlated with your behaviors. While bad habits leave you wishing your life were different, positive habits bring happiness and contentment.
I wish I had acted on it sooner, but I believe I always knew that. I mean, it is better late than never.
Habits are the unseen framework of our everyday lives, according to Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before: What I Learned About Creating and Breaking Habits. About 40% of our actions are repeated nearly every day, thus our habits influence both our present and our future. We can alter our lives by altering our habits.
I’ve spent far too much time in my life languishing in worries and regrets, wondering why life had to be so hard. I looked for outside sources to come in and save me. No rescuer ever came, at least not one that made a permanent difference.
I’d constantly finish up on the same boat: wondering why others appeared so pleased with the lives they were leading while I continued to have a burning need for something different—something I really couldn’t even identify, though I tried in vain to do so.
I made great plans and established large goals that I knew would change everything for me. Normally, my ambitious ideas and aspirations would not last past the following new moon. However, even when they did, the things I believed would bring me joy didn’t. The items I believed would.
I am a strategist by trade. I consider all of the various factors that lead to a particular state of affairs and look for methods to change it in the direction I desire. As it happens, sometimes little adjustments can have a significant impact without requiring a complete overhaul.
As the proverb goes, a large ship requires large sails to move, but the captain may change the course with a simple rudder adjustment. The proverb also means that if the ship is not moving, there is no use in altering the rudder because you will not get anywhere.
The tiny rudders that can guide your life in the direction you desire are your everyday routines. Making the daily decision to adopt healthy behaviors is the first step toward achieving the desired beneficial changes in your life.
Although I consider myself to be bright, I have failed to recognize that even the tiniest changes made on a daily basis can make a big difference in my life. Miracles started to happen in my life when I realized how powerful it was to make modest adjustments every day.
The following list includes some of the easy daily routines I have tried to adopt and that are really helping me.
1. Meditation
Yes, I am aware of it. Everyone says to meditate, but have you ever thought that perhaps all of those people who like meditation are giving you a valuable insider tip?
Like many others, I have a hyperactive mind. It enjoys telling me about all of its concerns and alerting me to dangers that are not really there—usually just a mouse masquerading as a monster.
It is exhausting how much my mind enjoys replaying conversations and events over and over again! Daily meditation has proven to be the remedy for my incessant chattering mind.
I do not engage in complex activities. I simply take a seat comfortably, listen to calming instrumental music on Spotify, and concentrate on my breathing. I bring my attention back to my breathing whenever I catch my thoughts straying, which is always the case. Answers to really insightful questions I did not even know I should ask appear to come to me during quiet moments.
2. Kind, loving self-talk
My inner monologue used to be less than cordial. I was actually my own worst adversary, a persistent bully whose hurtful remarks would demoralize me and prevent me from facing the outside world with any confidence or sense of worth.
I did not acquire this self-deprecating speech by mistake. Its origins date back to my early years.
I was raised in a Roman Catholic household with seven kids (one brother passed away before I was born) and two overburdened, worn-out parents who were constantly broke.
My father battled with mental illness and alcoholism. The way the house was run was determined by this, my mother’s enabling behaviors, and her own low self-esteem and depression problems.
The entire household was focused on adjusting to dad’s problems.
Despite my best efforts to please my father, I always felt as a child that nothing I accomplished was good enough for him. I yearned for his affection and constructive criticism. He either disregarded me or scolded me, and when he did, he frequently used the harshest language possible.
I started using that harsh tone in my inner monologues, and I continued doing so for years and years. I reasoned that I was only maintaining my high standards since, after all, who would not want to have high expectations? A father would only give his daughter criticism to help her get better, would not he?
I continued to be critical of myself, and I never thought that my father would have reacted angrily because, by God, his children were the only thing he could control, and his entire life looked to be in disarray.
As an adult, I was engaging in relentless, harsh self-criticism to achieve perfection and win the affection and attention I so desperately desired from the people in my life. It had to be abandoned because it was an ineffective tactic.
I would never treat another human being in this manner, I thought after analyzing my resentful, belittling inner voice, so why was I allowing this kind of intolerable language to continue inside of me? We all deserve better!
I have learned to be patient with myself when those critical thoughts arise and not to give in to the critical voice that voices my overly critical opinions of myself.
I give the frightened girl who made those offensive remarks my utmost love. You see, even while I no longer permit my inner critic to speak to me in such a repulsive manner, I also acknowledge that the only reason I ever did so was because of a strong need for safety and belonging. Behind those terrible comments was a cry for love, and now I just accept that intense need for self-love without criticizing the hurting girl who was attempting to win my attention in the only way she knew how.
3. Follow the five-second rule
The day I discovered Mel Robbins’ five-second rule was a pivotal moment in my life, and I adore her. (And I am not talking about whether food that has merely been on the floor for five seconds is still safe to eat—that is a whole other topic!)
Mel Robbins says, “The minute you have an urge to act on a goal, you must count five-four-three-two-one and physically move or your brain will stop you.” This is the essence of his five-second rule.
You want to get up earlier in the morning, but you are not a “morning person”? Then, as soon as your alarm clock goes off, get out of bed and count to five, four, three, two one. No more pressing the alarm’s snooze button.
Yes, in the time of those early morning hours, of course you’d rather stay in that warm snug bed—who wouldn’t? However, getting out of bed is more in line with your larger objectives than remaining in bed. You will make progress toward your larger objectives if you move within five seconds. You are sunk if you do not get up and let your shrewd mind convince you to stay in bed for “just a little bit longer.”
Use the five-second rule to help you get out of bed and prioritize your goals over getting an extra half hour of sleep if you want to change your life by getting up earlier to write that blog you want to write (a.k.a., what I am doing now) or do that exercise you know your body needs.
One of the best habits I have ever formed is following the five-second rule. To be really honest, I acknowledge that I do not always follow the rule, but the more I strive, the more I succeed.
“You need to either adjust your behaviors or change your dream if they do not align.” ~John Maxwell
4. Feed my mind
Even though I am actually lazy when it comes to studying, I have always thought of myself as a learner. If you do not provide your brain any fresh information, it is difficult to make your life better. Regularly nourishing my intellect has emerged as one of my key priorities.
One retreat per year, one book per month (which I can read or listen to on audio), one podcast per week, and one insightful article on a topic I would like to learn more about every day are all part of my “feeding my mind” objective. I have discovered that getting started creates momentum, and I frequently surpass my minimal objectives!
Giving up some bad habits is also a part of feeding my thoughts in a healthy way. These days, I am quite selective about how much news I consume. News stations are known for repeating the same upsetting tales, so even while I do not want to put my head in the sand, I think it is necessary to restrict the amount of negative signals I let into my thoughts. I get up earlier and spend less time on Netflix and HBO in order to carve out time in my days for my additional reading and personal development activities.
In order to purchase the audiobooks and getaways I desire, I have also adjusted my budget. I am willing to make the trade-off that my budget for clothes and eating out is around half of what it was.
I am discovering whole new universes as a result of the practice of feeding my thoughts. How many times have I read something and then had the ideal chance to apply what I have learnt in both my personal and professional life? “Fortune favors the prepared mind,” as Louis Pasteur once observed, and I could not agree more!
5. Do something outside my comfort zone at least once a week
I might make this habit a “once a day” rule if I were a more ambitious person, but for now, once a week works well for me. Regularly stepping outside of your comfort zone is a life-expanding habit, whereas doing the same things the same way every day is a life-depleting habit. Thank you so much; I would much rather watch my life grow than shrink and shrivel.
I constantly work on being bold these days, which includes letting people see me and being open to being weak and inexperienced at new things. I am willing to take big risks now; I no longer shy away from stepping outside of my comfort zone.
I left a job I had held for twenty-two years without knowing where I would go next. In order to live in the stunning region of the world that I had always dreamed of, I relocated 2000 kilometers away from my family and friends.
My income varies a lot because I currently work as a coach, consultant, and freelancer. In the past, I could never have handled the level of uncertainty that comes with not knowing exactly how much money I will make each month.
Once you are willing to be flawed in a world that may condemn you rather than perfect in your own little world, you will be surprised at how much your life can change in miraculous ways. You may be able to soar when you take chances that could leave you flat on your back.
Though perhaps not always, I have discovered that courage is rewarded.