Appreciate the joy of simple moments—like my friend’s special day at the circus with her seven-year-old daughter, just the two of them, free from distractions.

They had a great time. They gasped at one other’s new feats with joy as they watched acrobats, clowns, and other brand-new delights. They laughed and enjoyed each other’s company without any interruptions. Everything, literally.

As the two of them were heading out after this wonderful afternoon, my friend’s kid noticed the product stand and asked her mother to get her a plastic fairy wand. My friend answered no, politely but firmly.

Her daughter was silent in the car on the way home.

“What was your favorite? My friend asked her, “What was your favorite thing today?”

She was pouting. “All I can think about is the wand I did not receive.”

All I can think about is the wand I did not receive.

Even in the midst of the most amazing events, how many of us obsess on the wands we did not receive?

How frequently do we focus on the one unfavorable remark or the incorrect thing rather than the good or correct thing?

Instead than excessively concentrating on what isn’t, how can we just see what is?

How frequently do we focus on the one unfavorable remark or the incorrect thing rather than the good or correct thing?

Instead than excessively concentrating on what isn’t, how can we just see what is?

Now that we live in the Internet age, the wands I did not receive seem to me to be the most sinister. Even though I really believe that online life is fantastic, reviews are one thing that pulls me into a never-ending cycle of hoping for things that aren’t.

I read reviews in the same way that people read newspapers. From cover to cover, I am searching for bias, poor writing, or things I might not like, but I am also certain I will. This will inevitably cause me to be disappointed when I finally get to see what I have been reading about for months.

When I arrive at a new café or hostel, I start focusing on what is not there:

“This is simply front-on, however the review stated that there was a 180-degree perspective.”

“The review stated that there were many vegetarian options, but I can only see three, and they do not seem very appetizing to me.”

“I am being frowned at by this house management. By the end of the vacation, they were like family, according to the evaluation. With this grump, how is that possible?

It was incredibly appropriate for my friend to tell this story about her daughter and the wand she did not receive.

An essential slap across the face,

Which behaviors push me closer to a place of entitlement and high expectations, and which behaviors allow me to appreciate what is more than what isn’t?

Obviously, the first step is to get less fixated with reviews.

Another is to take the time to think about my experiences living before the Internet. What actions, decisions, and ways of traveling inspired awe at the ordinary world?

I have been far more willing to just show up and try things out in the last few months of living as a digital nomad than to care about what many people thought.

My rules are as follows:

• A quick glance at a review is helpful, but it has a time limit. I now only take a few minutes to read other people’s opinions and search for the most fundamental and significant practical items.
• See for yourself. Make eye contact. Look Up. Be.
• To properly appreciate what is in front of me, I need to slow down and take my time. Why the rush?
• Have faith in my instinct. Try it.
• Ask for recommendations and have face-to-face conversations.
• Accept imperfections. Appreciate the positive aspects of the situation.

What do you know?

It is functioning.

Even though I could not swim on this wild beach—which would ordinarily drive me crazy—it was essentially empty, and the waves were captivating, inspiring countless ideas.

I also learned of another beach near our new house from a woman who was there with her dog. I then found out that she can have a box prepared to pick up for her night job even if the Indian restaurant does not deliver at 3am. This could be useful in a town where sometimes everything closes by 8pm.

I accidentally drank the greatest coffee I have ever had.

At first, I was upset that I had not anticipated how hot it would be as I slept in a tent in the silent, oppressive nighttime heat. However, after reminding myself that there was nothing to do but accept it and lie still, I actually dozed off and woke up feeling rejuvenated and eager for the day.

I asked locals which buses I should board, and they were always right, despite a few terrifying “where the hell are we?” moments.

I halted after getting a challenging email. Instead of panicking out, looking through social media, and making myself more anxious, I listened to music and felt myself physically calm down (as well as rediscovering a couple songs).

I am starting to list my favorite things first:

The airflow in this space is excellent.

The headland has some interesting trees.

Dogs are welcome inside!

The music is amazing.

I am smiling because of how happy and content the people crammed into the pool are.

These flowers are stunning.

The view is obscured by a weird and eerie mist.

After my device died, I am listening to a radio interview rather than a podcast, and I am learning something strangely fascinating.

It was a luxurious portion of the dinner.

Through the pouring rain, I can hear birdcalls.

I am discovering that I am more likely to bring good into the world now that I have formed the practice of concentrating on the positive things around me, such as:

attending a community event by yourself.

mailing a card to a friend who has a shattered leg.

spending more time providing individuals in need with high-quality information and assistance.

adopting a more sensible course of action in a difficult situation rather than reacting on the spur of the moment.

As I gradually replace the wands I did not receive with what I did receive—with what is—I am learning the following: As I embark on this journey of rediscovering everyday life, acceptance and satisfaction are increasing my delight and fortifying my sense of bravery and connection.

What more do you know?

For a mere five minutes, that wand would have been the high point of my day. After that, I would once again be feeling guilty and irritated about the ice cream I missed, the criticism I got instead of the compliments, and the rain that followed the sun (and seemed to continue much longer).

We will continue to seek out more wands until our entire life are made up of the ones we did not receive.

We wind up living our lives in search of approval and pleasure from outside sources.

The majority of us do have a lot. And while it is admirable to express regret and disappointment (particularly when they are well-founded) and to speak up when anything is truly amiss, it is just as crucial to accept things as they are.

to recognize when it is nothing more than a plastic wand.

And after that, go about enjoying that fantastic day at the circus.

Because you never know when you will return.