Weight loss was a constant battle for much of my life.

Had I known these five things before starting my journey, losing weight would have been easier, and I’d have realised it’s not a cure-all for my problems.

Maybe some of my teachings can benefit you if you are attempting to reduce weight.

Let us get started.

1. This has to be for you, not someone else.

As a gay youngster growing up, I was taught that homosexuality is wrong and that people who prefer others of the same sex are not deserving of love and respect.

Because of this, I absorbed the idea that I was unworthy, which made me go to other people for approval in order to feel good about myself.

I became very overweight myself because I carried a really hefty secret about being gay.

I gained weight to conceal myself from the outside world because I was afraid of being noticed.

I believed that having the sexiest guy would make me feel good about myself after coming out.

My body changed, I shed thirty pounds, and I was able to fulfill my dream of dating a handsome man. My confidence was at an all-time high until he ended our relationship and I never saw him again (whomp, whomp). I felt awful about myself because I had not succeeded in reaching my objective.

I now realize that the problem began when I linked my self-esteem and fitness objective to an uncontrollable external factor—a man’s desire to date me.

The truth is that I would never be able to get over my issues with a new physique or relationship. Before I could feel good about my outer self, I had to “work out” my inner self.

It is similar to having an old, scratched-up, slow cell phone that gets sparkly again when you put a new case on it! The phone is still broken underneath, though, and the same problems still exist.

I was still the same little boy inside, frantically looking for approval from other people, just like the phone with the new casing.

I needed to accept who I was and not relying on other people to tell me how valuable I was.

I have learned through coaching and meditation that self-worthiness originates internally. I make the decision to live a healthy lifestyle for my own health and wellbeing, and I understand that I am valuable in and of myself, regardless of how I look or what other people may think.

Instead of saying, “I want to lose weight to have a guy ask me out,” I now set objectives that are under my control and independent of approval from others. For example, “I want to lose weight to be healthy and live a long life.”

Remind yourself that no matter how you appear, you are a complete, capable individual. You can still feel good about yourself today even if you desire to get better for tomorrow.

You are the only one with the power to influence how you feel about yourself; no one else can! You will be unstoppable if you set goals that are within your own capabilities.

2. You may lose friends, and that’s awesome!

Let me explain: Most of my friends were really supportive when I first started to change my body, until they weren’t.

Many of my friends had no interest in fitness and wellness. They would ask me questions like, “Who do you think you are? ” as I approached my objectives. You are acting superior to us by maintaining a healthy lifestyle and eating salad!

The individuals who know you the best might sometimes be the ones who prevent you from changing the most. They want you to remain the way you were when they first met you.

People who are not accustomed to success may start to feel threatened and afraid if you surround yourself with them since you are reflecting back to them what makes them feel intimidated. Not everyone will be pleased for you.

By letting go, you make room for others who share your values to help you along the way. Getting assistance from those who have been in my position before keeps me inspired and enables me to get insight from their experiences. This makes the trip more pleasurable and saves a great deal of time and work.

Making friends at the gym, joining a meetup.com running group, or enrolling in a meditation studio can all help you find encouraging people. If you need a bit more assistance, you might even think about working with a coach or trainer.

3. Our self-talk can make or break our progress.

When I looked in the mirror, I used to concentrate all of my energy on my imperfections. “I want to lose weight so I am not repulsive and disgusting,” I would tell myself.

Each time I considered my objective, I reaffirmed my identification as someone who is “gross and filthy.” My self-confidence suffered as a result of this critical self-talk, which frequently resulted in binge eating. When trying to reduce weight, this is not something you want to do!

I had to connect with a positive intention for my objective in order to stop the negative self-talk and bring about long-lasting transformation. I therefore changed my goal to age gracefully and lead a healthy life.

I became less melancholy by focusing on the things I did not like about myself and more energized by concentrating on the positive objectives I was pursuing.

I was able to finally lose the weight and enjoy the process when I had a change in how I saw myself.

4. Patience is everything.

Being patient is more than just waiting; it is the capacity to work hard to accomplish your objectives and have an optimistic outlook while doing so.

For the first three weeks after I started my weight loss journey, I felt like I was wasting my time and nothing was progressing. The irony is that all of the hard effort began to pay off at this point. I was finally seeing discernible changes on the scale by week four, and I was headed in the right direction.

The little, seemingly unimportant decisions we make on a daily basis add up to something remarkable. You will not advance toward your objectives if you lack the patience to wait for these things to occur.

Keep in mind that a thousand kilometers is just a sequence of individual steps. You will succeed if you take things one step at a time!

5. To reach any goal, you need to define success, create an action plan, and fall in love with the process.

The abundance of contradicting fitness and health advice has frequently left me feeling overpowered. I tried a different diet every week since I could not decide which one worked best for me, but I never noticed any changes.

In actuality, the strategy that I enjoy and follow is the one that works best for me.

It is critical to develop an affection for the procedure. Being fit takes a lifetime, and you will give up if you do not love the process.

Try selecting a strategy that sounds enjoyable and sticking with it for eight weeks if you are having trouble deciding which one is ideal for you. Try something different if you have not noticed any improvement.

Whether it means reaching a particular weight on the scale or hiking a certain amount of miles, make sure to specify what success means to you so that you know exactly where you are going.

I had a certain objective in mind when I decided to shed thirty pounds. I was able to eliminate distractions and concentrate my efforts as a result. It also provided me with direction, inspiration, and a distinct future vision.

Last but not least, keeping a record of your progress will help you stay motivated and focused. For a long time, I was reluctant to do this, but it has greatly improved my life. It is comparable to utilizing a road map. It is much simpler to remain dedicated to achieving your goal when you can see how far you have come. 

Every fitness quest is ultimately about more than just improving your physical appearance and losing weight. Transformations that start with self-love and involve “working out” both your inner and outer selves are the most successful.

My exercise objectives now center more on the well-being of my mind, body, and spirit than just my physical appearance, and losing weight was only a byproduct of my larger objective to live a healthy lifestyle.

I developed a daily self-care routine and dedicate at least an hour each morning to my health and well-being because I struggle to put my own needs first. The key to my weight loss success is self-care because when you take care of your body and lead a healthy lifestyle, weight naturally slips off.

Lastly, keep in mind the influence of intention! What will help you succeed is not what you do, but why you do it.

I am sending you all of my love and wish you luck on your trip!