Heart open and full, I step into a new era—the age where life is said to truly begin—as the final moments of my thirties gently fade away.

Like a butterfly poised to emerge from her chrysalis and soar into the sun, I am eager to stretch my wings and experience the freedom that comes from six arduous months of intense self-examination.

My heartbreak served as the impetus for my introspective trip. It would never have opened if it had not been broken fully, thus it is a great thing to experience at this point in life.

Numerous ancient wounds and scars from a tumultuous background had hardened it. It was broken with such amazing splendor that I thought I would be broken forever. I will always be cut off from myself and the wonder that everyone of us possesses.

I discovered something hidden deep beneath my hardened heart as I saw its fragments fall to dust. I had never sensed or experienced this consciousness before, but it felt extremely familiar. I observed the emotions, the anguish, and the terror as I stood in this newly discovered consciousness.

For the first time, I saw them clearly, as if I had just been roused. Even though it had been thirty-nine years since my birth, I felt as though I had been awakened from the deepest sleep of my life as I stood in the aftermath of my heartbreak.

After this revelation, I found myself entering a yoga studio that I had never been to before a few days later. I felt as though I had returned home because of the atmosphere.

I paid for Energize Yoga, the following class that was offered. This was my first time taking a Kundalini yoga class. There was a lot of breathing and rhythmic movement in the class.

With our arms and legs up in the air, we all laid on our backs. To the rhythm of loud dance music that was getting faster and faster, we were told to shake our arms and legs from side to side. We had to exhale vigorously the entire time, which was challenging and confused me.

The music ended after five minutes of this bullshit. We were told to laugh as loudly as we could while putting our arms and legs down. I was not ready for the laughing and what it would bring, but it was simple to laugh because what we had been doing felt a little strange.

My core muscles nearly spasmed from the force that poured out of me as my laugh grew deeper. It was like an electric pulse right out of a socket. I let out a big, ebullient laugh that came from the bottom of my heart.

With a monthly pass and a fresh outlook on life, I walked out of the studio. Even though my senses were still in shock and my heart was still broken, my newly awakened condition of clarity of vision gave me the impression that I was observing the pandemonium rather than being engulfed by it.

Panicked waves of desperation were still pulsing through my body. I was depressed about the past and worried about the future, and I could plainly see that fear was ingrained in my very being.

I wanted to get out of my own skin because of the pain, the worry, and the terror. to take cover somewhere outside of myself, as if my body were merely a character. I sensed that something was quite unusual as I saw all of these emotions and sentiments come over me in waves.

In order to cope with past heartbreaks, I had either repressed the unpleasant emotions or diverted my attention with work, parties, and avoiding alone time. It was different this time. I let myself be rather than repressing the emotions or diverting my attention.

I was still terrified. Fearful of my suffering, fearful of my feelings, fearful of dying, and fearful of living. I made the decision to symbolically confront my concerns on a chilly February morning. I was afraid of open water and heights.

When I returned to Ireland, I jumped from a pier into the frigid waters of Carlingford Bay with the help and support of two close friends. I felt incredibly alive once again when I stepped out of the freezing waters.

I demonstrated to myself that internal strength always triumphs over fear. At that moment, I knew I would be fine, perhaps even fine. Nothing would ever be the same in my life.

I woke up and discovered who I was when my heart broke. I discovered that all I need is and has always been inside of me after losing a relationship that meant the world to me.

I stopped seeking approval from others. I immersed myself. I unearthed every skeleton in my closet that I had buried. I confronted the aspects of myself that I disliked. I exposed all the wounds I had ever permitted myself to bear.

I went over each unpleasant memory with myself and put myself back in the moment when it was my reality. Through my newly discovered consciousness, I was able to perceive my role in every circumstance.

I took ownership of my role in each of these circumstances. I sat with every feeling that surfaced, observing and letting it be without passing judgment or offering criticism.

I smiled when I wanted to laugh, I sobbed when I needed to cry, and every day I felt more at ease.

I started meditation in April and discovered that it gave me a sense of peace and tranquility that I had never experienced before. As I discovered more about myself and my layers, I had one epiphany after another.

As I worked through the rainbow of emotions that comprised my day, I kept up my yoga and meditation. As I discovered that I was living in the present more and less, the vacillating between my past and my future slowed.

I feel that everyone should experience this calm, therefore the more at ease I am, the more I want to share what I have discovered.

1. Start with your breath.

When your thoughts start to stray, paying attention to your breathing is a great method to bring yourself back to the present.

With the help of a qualified instructor, you can perform yogic pranayama exercises, but for simpler exercises, simply pause and take a deep breath! It has been demonstrated that taking deep, relaxing breaths can help with depression and soothe an anxious mind.

2. Observe your thoughts.

There are thoughts in the mind all the time. Suffering results from attaching to unpleasant beliefs. Keep in mind that something is not always true just because you believe it. When addressing negative thoughts, Byron Katie’s four questions might be a useful technique.

3. Remember that you are not your emotions.

The emotional roller coaster you experience is not you, regardless matter how high or low you are feeling. That is not nearly everything that you are.

When your emotions get the better of you, try to stop. Pay attention to your body’s sensations. Do you have stiff shoulders? Is your breathing shallow? Return to your breathing. Inhale into the areas of your body where the emotion is manifesting physically.

4. Stay in your present reality.

You will suffer less if you can be more mindful and in the moment. Making routine tasks different is a good mindfulness exercise. Using your other hand, hold your toothbrush. Take an alternate route to work. Use your fork instead of your knife. You understand!

Stop worrying about the future or worrying about the past! Take a breath and return to the here and now. Always keep in mind that this too will pass.

5. Validate yourself.

Do not seek approval from other people. You have all you need within yourself. Pardon yourself for your transgressions. Give yourself as much love as you require. Treat yourself as you would your best friend if you struggle with this.

Until I started to practice self-validation and self-love, I was the harshest judge and worst critic of myself.

6. Be patient and persistent.

It will take time to heal your heart. It takes time to break bad behaviors because we are creatures of habit. Neural pathway rewriting takes time. When you make changes, your body and mind need time to adapt.

Just take a deep breath and get back in touch with yourself when you feel like you have regressed. As long as you stay attentive and aware, you can overcome the dualism that arises between the heart and the mind. You will stay on course if you persist.

I am eager for the future as I type this; I am prepared for both the highs and the lows, and I am prepared to face every circumstance head-on in the here and now.

I am letting the world inside my heart, a heart that has recovered from the dust and is free of scars from the past. Prepared to breathe, to love, to live!