Head always buzzing—I used to see it as a burden, and for much of my life, it truly was.

I can never remember a moment in the past when I was not absorbed in my thoughts. My mind had a “narrator” all the time. An ongoing commentary.

I attempted meditation, but I would spend ten excruciating minutes frantically attempting to stop or push my thoughts away—something that is obviously impossible. It was like trying to pull a limb away from my body while I did not think. Yes, my commitment to my thoughts was that strong.

Another fruitless attempt at awareness was offered by yoga. While my thoughts would be racing, comparing myself to others, discussing why I was there, or critiquing my performance, I would observe the other participants to be completely present and engaged.

Uninformed people may believe that the sole issue is “negative” overthinking. But in my experience, overanalyzing or overthinking any subject or event—even ones that are genuinely joyful—usually results in a negative atmosphere.

For instance, I would almost always convince myself that I was not worthy of a compliment if I received one. Perhaps the individual in question was merely showing me kindness or sympathy.

I felt confined at the time. I was afraid of my thinking mind. I could be unraveled by it at any moment. It would be nice if I could just turn it off.

 I overanalyzed everything. Simple discussions would become awkward and unduly intense. Every insinuation had a hidden significance for me.

My mind was limitless. It would examine the present, the past, and the future closely. And boy, could it spin some great tales, none of them real, of course.

I was cursed. Burdened. Why was I unable to be normal?

Naturally, those close to me reciprocated that sentiment.

“Get your mind off it!”

“Avoid overanalyzing everything!”

“Why must you dissect everything?”

And my own favorite…

“Being you must be exhausting.”

It was draining. I was in a never-ending battle with myself. Was it possible to think less? Can I dummy-down what I am thinking?

I developed the ability to suppress my thoughts out of desperation. My vices become poor relationships, food, and drama. They made it possible for my frenzied mind to live with me.

I was only a victim of my own thoughts. Unmanageable.

Until I discovered something new about the way we think.

My life has radically changed as a result of realizing that our thoughts and our actual selves are distinct.

Thoughts are not who we are. No, the exact opposite.

We constantly have a lot of ideas running through our heads. That is a characteristic of humanity. But we have the freedom to decide which of those to interact with.

Pam Grout, a writer and blogger, has a wonderful example for thoughts: They resemble ants walking across your picnic blanket in a line. You have two options: either pick them up and engage with them, or let them continue to march right off the other side of the blanket and vanish. Put them first. Make a fuss about them. They will also most likely bite you.

However, you have the power to choose.

Which thoughts you focus on is up to you.

Because ideas are fleeting. Always. And that is typical.

You are already aware of the distance between your mind and yourself if you can see that you are overanalyzing.

That is how easy it is.

Like anything new, it has taken me some time (and practice) to fully grasp this notion and to see its numerous advantages. Among them are:

• I accept things more now. I do not feel the need to analyze and/or evaluate every aspect of my life anymore. And a genuine sensation of comfort follows.
  
• I feel so much more content. If left unchecked, a busy mind frequently ends up in a bad place. Contentment has become a familiar acquaintance by avoiding the never-ending conversation.

I have greater authority now. I no longer feel like a victim since I know that I have the power to decide which thoughts to participate in.

Persistence is essential, just like with any new habit.

I have come to the realization that I just need to be judicious about whether or not I believe what I am thinking. I do not have to stop thinking. We frequently regret the past or worry about the future because the majority of our thoughts are merely made-up stories.

The majority are untrue. Not at all.

I was a bit of a helicopter mom once. I acknowledge it.

My over-analyzing mind therefore went into overdrive when my daughter was old enough to drive legally and go out at night. As young adults do, she would go out with her pals, and I would have a breakdown inside. In a literal sense.

I would vividly see every conceivable worst-case situation.

auto accidents. Rape on a date. Abduction. I could envision anything.

And until I was a tangle of anxiety and anxiety, it would keep playing in my head. There was never a chance to sleep.

Around midnight, I would begin contacting her to make sure she was still alive. (I was that awful.)

I would have an almost overpowering wave of relief when she eventually arrived home in the early hours of the morning.

Experiencing such great feeling from one extreme to the other was draining.

However, it was all the product of my thoughts. That is all.

And I eventually took action after a year of this wild voyage. With me, not with my daughter. Or, more accurately, my thoughts.

There would always be this barrage of ideas that came to me whenever she went out, but I could choose to take them seriously or not.

When they appeared, I began to acknowledge their presence and then let them to pass through me. I told myself that I had no influence over her fate and that her life was hers to live. It was also made simpler by that. Since that is the reality.

I would tell myself that none of those thoughts were genuine if I experienced that well-known knot of uneasiness in my stomach. I was all right. She was all right.

And it became easier with time. I became less and less anxious. While she was out, I even got some sleep!

These days, I only pay attention to my thoughts when they are pleasant tales. Stories that bring me joy. The remainder of the time, I either intentionally shift my thoughts in the direction of more positive ones or I simply let my thoughts wander aimlessly.

It is similar to having a background radio on. And I pay attention when a song I enjoy begins.

Yes, I do get to decide when to focus.

There are no exceptions.

I am no longer controlled by my thoughts. How I interact with it is up to me.

My ally is my busy mind. My companion. My inner playmate.

And that is one of the things that defines who I am.